


Porcelain Souls

by Lady_Akuma_Wolf



Category: Naruto
Genre: 2018 update: I will eventually return to this I promise!, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College Life, Depression, Dormmates, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Online Penpal, Self-Harm, Slight character OOC all around sorry, Transphobia, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:50:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4649391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Akuma_Wolf/pseuds/Lady_Akuma_Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College/University AU. Gaara and Temari attend Konoha University. Temari is horrified by her roommate, who is the polar opposite of her. College life, classes, romance and drama abound as the rest of the gang appears on campus. Temari, studying to be a model at the behest of her mother, would rather design than model. The only thing keeping Temari sane is her online penpal.</p>
<p>Gaara, probably the most introverted person on campus, is stunned to slowly have friends while studying for his Major in Art. Friends are a foreign concept to the redheaded insomniac, and hard to understand, let alone accept and welcome into his life.</p>
<p>Hyuuga Hinata, happy to at least escape her horrid home life, finds university life almost as difficult. She is Different, so if she isn't avoided, she's harassed and bullied. Hiding within herself will only work for so long until she breaks... unless someone is able to stand up for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: mentions of childhood abuse, self-harm, depression, suicidal thoughts.
> 
> This muse is slow, so updates will be slow. But kudos and comments feed her and make her more happy, thus the more I get to write!

****

Sabaku Temari frowned slightly as her mother parked the car next to the dorm building she had been assigned to. The campus, Konoha University, was well enough, she supposed. With how much tuition cost, it had better be. The dorms were seven stories, and according to information packet she had received a few weeks ago in the mail. The first floor contained a large common area, a kitchen, a laundry room, a smaller common room this one containing a pool table and other such things, and a few classrooms. Why a dorm building would have classrooms, Temari had no clue. The other stories were two- and three-person dorm rooms; Temari had requested a double. Having to put up with one person was going to be more than enough as it was. Her younger brother Gaara, seated next to her, had received a single, thanks to her arguing with her mother. Gaara didn't get along with most people, and she didn't think subjecting him to a roommate was the best thing.

_I just hope my roommate isn't a freak_ , she thought.  _Bad enough that I have to share living quarters with someone. Maybe I should've requested a single like I did for Gaara. Mother and father could more than afford it._

"Well, here we are, Temari!" Sabaku Yuukynai said, interrupting her daughter's thought as she turned the car off and twisted in her seat to smile at her only daughter. "Aren't you excited? This university has one of the  _best_  modeling programs in the country!"

Yuukynai turned to look at her youngest child, seated next to his sister. He was staring blankly out the window, seemingly not paying any attention to the conversation going on next to him. He was, however, absently playing with the charm bracelet on Temari's wrist; it had been a gift from him and their brother, Kankuro, who was currently attending another university across town. He wore black pants, black shoes, and a black fishnet short-sleeved shirt over a very dark red sleeveless shirt. "And they also have an excellent Art Program for you, Gaara. Doesn't that make you happy?"

Gaara didn't say a word. Yuukynai frowned. "Gaara?"

When he still didn't reply, Temari brushed her fingers lightly over his. "Gaara? Is something wrong?"

He finally turned to look at her, bright green eyes flat and blank, as they were most of the time. "No, Temari."

"Well, let's get your personal bags up to the dorm room. The butlers took all of your luggage up this morning. So all you two need to do is settle in!"

Temari, half out of the car, stopped. "You make it sound as if we are both in this dorm building, Mother."

Yuukynai didn't notice her daughters' frown. "You are. I requested that the two of you be placed in the same dorm building in case…" she trailed off, looking for a way she could phrase what she wanted to say without getting Temari angry. "In case Gaara needs some help."

Temari slammed her door. "I thought we agreed that Gaara would be able to have a single room! There aren't any in this building! It said so in the pamphlet about the university dorms!" Temari glared at her mother. "Which you apparently didn't bother reading!"

Their mother blinked in confusion. "I did request a single for him."

Temari growled as she and Gaara removed their bags from the trunk. "Maybe there are. Maybe I read the pamphlet wrong. I sure as hell hope so."

Gaara stopped her before she slammed the trunk door as well. "Don't take your anger out on the car, Temari-onesan." He closed the trunk carefully. Temari smiled ruefully; that statement sounded redundant, coming from him.

OoOoO

A grown man was seated at a desk in a room off the entrance of the first floor; the plaque next to the door read:

**Mr. Ibiki, criminal justice instructor and dorm-parent**

Yuukynai knocked on the open door to gain his attention. When he looked up, they could see his face was scarred, as if he had been attacked a long time ago. No wonder he was the teacher of criminal justice. He wore black pants and shirt, and a black head scarf; a black trench coat was draped over the back of his chair. He stood. "May I help you, ma'am?"

"My name is Sabaku Yuukynai. My children, Temari and Gaara, are staying in this dorm. I was told to alert you when I dropped them off. And I was also wondering if you would be so kind as to show us to their rooms."

Ibiki pulled a folder from the pile on top of his desk and opened it, consulting the papers inside of it. "Sabaku, correct? You're both on the forth floor, right wing. Both your roommates have already arrived, so-"

"My brother was supposed to have a single room, Ibiki-sama." Temari interrupted. When he looked over at her, she nodded her head respectfully, even as her cheeks flushed with anger. "We were told he would be able to have a single room. He… doesn't get along well with others." She gave Gaara an apologetic look, though he didn't seem to notice.

"There are no single rooms in this building, and the buildings which do have them are completely full. If some students drop out within the next couple of week, and there is a room with no one staying in it, then I will move him there. But until then, he will have to stay in his assigned dorm room."

Before Temari could argue, a knock on the door made them all turn to look. "Ibiki-sama?"

A black-haired boy stood there, a child-like smile on his face. He wore a black belly shirt, tan pants and black shoes. He cocked his head, black eyes gazing at Temari and Gaara, still smiling. "Hello," he said. "My name is Sai."

"What is it, Sai?" Ibiki asked, though his tone was not hard.

Sai's smile faded. "I-I forgot where the storage closet is. The light in my room burned out… I know I've asked you before, but I just can't seem to remember! I'm sorry, Ibiki-sama…"

"It's two doors down on the left after the laundry room." Ibiki replied.

Sai was silent for a moment, frowning in thought. "The laundry room is… down the right hall after the common room, right?" he asked hesitantly.

Ibiki nodded. "Yes."

Sai was all smiles again. "Thanks so much, Ibiki-sama!" and bounded out of sight.

"That boy seems to have a pretty bad memory." Yuukynai said. "What is he doing in a university for elites?"

"He's just forgetful, that doesn't make him stupid, Sabaku-san. But he does get teased quite often for it." Ibiki replied. He turned his gaze to Gaara. "He's also your roommate. I'd better not hear of you doing anything to him while sharing a dorm."

Yuukynai turned to Gaara. "Gaara, why don't I take you home? One of the chauffeurs can drive you here and back for the first week of classes, until we know or not if you'll have your own room. How does that sound?"

Gaara didn't answer at first. He turned and looked back out at the hall, just in time to see Sai walking back. Noticing Gaara, he smiled and waved as he kept walking. Turning back to Yuukynai, he said, "I'll stay here."

Yuukynai frowned. "Gaara, it would be no trouble to have you driven here-"

"I said I would stay here, mother."

Seeing her mother was about to protest again, Temari said, "If Gaara is willing to share a room with that boy, Sai, then let him."

Meeting Yuukynai's gaze, she let the matter drop. It bothered her slightly that Tamari could understand her youngest child better than she could herself. But at the same time, to her, Temari was the only child who really mattered anyways…

When their little group had reached the forth floor, the man led them first to the room Gaara shared with Sai and knocked on the door.

"It's open!" Sai called from inside.

When Ibiki opened the door it revealed Sai perched on top of a chair in the middle of the room, changing the lightbulb. He looked down at Ibiki. "Is something wrong, Ibiki-sama?" Then he caught sight of Gaara. "Is he my new roommate?"

"Yes, he is. This is Sabaku Gaara. He's going to share this dorm with you until we can see if one opens up where he could stay alone. Remember, no fighting. We'll leave the two of you to get acquainted." He nodded to the Sabaku family. "Tamari-san's room is across the hall and five doors down. If you will please excuse me, I have work I must return to." Without waiting for an answer, he left the room.

Gaara placed his bags on the bed Sai hadn't claimed, eyes fixed on it. His suitcases were placed neatly next to it, ready to be unpacked. His backpack, containing his school books for the semester, rested on the desk next to the bed.

"If-if you want the other bed, or desk, you can have it," Sai stuttered, looking worried at Gaara's silence. "I don't really mind which one I have."

Gaara stared at him for a moment, face unreadable. "This one if fine."

Sai nodded, looking relieved as he turned away to put the chair back. Then he grabbed the old lightbulb and left the room, smiling slightly as he walked past Temari and Yuukynai.

Yuukynai watched him go with a frown. "There's something wrong with that boy."

"Gaara, do you want help unpacking?" Temari asked, ignoring her mother's comment.

Gaara shook his head. "No. I'll do it later." His eyes flitted to Sai. "No offense to you. It just takes me time to settle and be comfortable somewhere."

Sai just nodded and smiled before turning back to his battle with the lightbulb.

"Do you want to come with me to my dorm room?" Temari offered, suppressing her shock at Gaara actually explaining himself. It was rare enough to be done to a family member, even to her, let alone to a stranger.

Gaara didn't reply, but got up and followed Temari out of the room.

As Ibiki had said, Temari's roommate was already there as well, though it was just her belongings, and not the girl herself. A black and dark gray coverlet, decorated with skulls, dragons, and kanji symbols, black sheets and pillows lay on one of the beds, and black laptop and black backpack rested on the desk next to it. Black clothes, including what looked like bondage pants, chains and all, hung in one of the room's small, doorless closets. In between all the black peeked a few articles of dark gray or blue, or black with a few various colors, but the main theme  _was_  black.

"Great, I got an emo or goth chick for a roommate," Temari muttered, glaring at the black clothing. "This is just perfect."

"Did Ibiki tell you what her name was?" Yuukynai asked, also staring at what the closet held, her face betraying her disgust.

Temari shook her head. "No, he didn't. Guess I will just have to find out myself."  _Peachy. Just…peachy._

OoOoO

Two hours later, Temari's bed was made, complete with a pastel flowered comforter. Her clothes, unlike her as-of-yet unknown roommate's her many different colors and, thanks to her mother, all designer names. She was, after all, going into modeling. Couldn't be caught dead wearing clothes just any old person on the street might be wearing, right?

She had also left for awhile to check on Gaara, and explored the lower floors of the dorm with him and Sai. When she had returned to her dorm room, the backpack, laptop and computer bag had vanished. Temari wasn't sure if she as glad or not to have missed meeting her roommate, or if she was just glad to have put it off for a little while longer.

With a sigh, she grabbed her laptop and sat on her bed, back against the wall. She opened it and turned it on. Logging onto the internet, she clicked the dropdown menu, and selected

She had no clue what had possessed her brothers to dare to her to create an account and profile on such a weird site. But as they had known, she wasn't one to back down from a dare, especially one from them.

_FLASHBACK_

"Come on, Temari-onesan!" Kankuro shouted, his face flushed with excitement and sake. "It's your birthday! Do something you've never done before!"

Temari motioned to the empty sake bottles. "I used mother's old license to get liquor because I'm still underage, since they decided to leave right before my birthday. How is that not 'something I've never done before'?"

"I've already made you an account, using your email." Gaara said, arms crossed over his chest. He had refused to touch the sake, unlike his two older siblings.

That brought Temari and Kankuro's argument to a halt. "An account on what?" she asked him, suddenly suspicious. "Not that freaky internet site the two of you are on."

Gaara's lips twitched in hidden amusement. Temari and sometimes Kankuro were the only ones who ever saw this side of him. "Yes, I did. You just need to choose a screen name for yourself."

"So all I need to do is create an account on that site? That's the dare?" somehow she couldn't believe that was all the two of them would make her do.

"No," chorused her brothers; Kankuro burst out laughing, hard enough that he disappeared off the edge of table, taking the chair with him.

Temari groaned; she should have known. "What else?"

Kankuro grinned at her as he set his chair to rights. "You have to select a random profile, and start up a conversation with him or her."

Temari glared at her brothers. "Will I at least get to know what this mystery person looks like? Or anything about them?"

You can read their profile, their journal, whatever you want," Kankuro replied, still grinning like a maniac. "But you won't get to know what they look like. That is one of the rules of FreaksoftheUnderground; never, ever post any pictures of yourself. That way, you can truly be yourself without having to worry about someone recognizing you on there."

Gaara had grabbed his laptop, and already had the site open on the screen; he set it on the table in front of his sister. "What do you want your screen name to be? It can be anything you want, as long as someone else isn't already using it."

Slowly, Temari brought the computer closer to her, thinking. Then she typed  **Blackened_Roses** into the spot Gaara had indicated, and hit enter. A box popped up thanking her for becoming a member of the website, reminded her not to post any personal pictures of herself, to treat others with respect, and to have fun.

Temari turned to Kankuro. "Okay, now what?"

Kankuro jabbed at the screen. "Click that; it's a drop down menu. Then select 'view a random profile'. And then write that person a message. And if they respond to you, write back to them."

"What? Write back to them? You never mentioned it earlier."

"It would be rude to write to someone, and have them write back to you and then never get an answer back, Temari." Gaara said quietly. Temari looked over at him; his eyes were distant, and she wondered how often that had happened to him. "And besides, we  _did_  say that you had to strike up a conversation with the person, and just sending them one message and not responding to them  _doesn't_  count."

She sighed. "Very well. I'll respond to them once or twice; but then, unless I think I'll keep talking to them, I can delete my account. Alright?"

Both her brothers nodded, though Kankuro didn't look too happy about letting her slide on the dare. She followed his directions, and waited for the profile of some unknown, and probably creepy, person to appear in front of her.

The background of the profile was… pretty, Temari supposed, if a little creepy. An angel with pale skin and drooping black wings knelt, seemingly defeated, on the snow. Black, twisted trees were in the background. The angel held a single, red rose in her hands, but blood seemed to be coming from it, dripping on her hands and her gray, knee-length dress. The gray dress was sleeveless, the far sleeve ripped completely off, and the hem of the near side was ripped halfway up her thigh. On the ground in front of her a small rabbit as white as the snow looked up at the angel, as if it was worried. The ground and the trees were heavily dusted with snow.

"Nice picture," Gaara commented. He would know; he was an artist, both with his hands and with almost any computer program a person could name.

Temari didn't answer as she scrolled down to read the information on the page.

**Name: Forgotten_Angel Age: 18 Gender: Wouldn't you like to know**

**Orientation: Unsure Location: Lost within my Nightmares**

**Occupation: Writer and College student Tattoos/piercings? Yes/Yes**

**About me: There's not too much to say about me; I'm the despised child who can't do anything right for their demanding, overbearing parent, if he can even be called that. What I want to do, what I love to do, I can't do in real life because the man I am supposed to call father has more than once destroyed my work; he says writing is just a fucked up way of trying to be someone or something you're not, and to get off my ass and do some good for once. So until I left the house, I hid my work. Now, at least, I can work on my writing without worrying about him finding it. But who knows if he'll have spies in among the students.**

**I love to listen to almost any type and genre of music, going for long walks when it is raining, animals, drawing, and reading. I would add being myself, but until I am free of my father, and almost everyone around me, I will never be able to completely do that. Some days I wish I was part of a different family, one where they are nice and wonderful and loving to their children. On the other days I wish I had never been born, because most days it feels like the world hates me and people like me. And, obviously, I love to write, mostly poetry and song lyrics. I get most of my inspiration from what happens in my life, and sometimes from the music I listen to.**

**Anyways, if you want to check out some of my work, I've posted some in my journal. Leave me some feedback about what you think of it. And if you want to write to me, then send me a message; but if you hit on me or anything remotely similar, I will not respond, so don't waste your time. Also if you're someone who discriminates people, don't bother writing, either. One of my favorite pastimes is hunting sick people like you down and beating the shit out of you.**

Temari leaned back. "And I'm supposed to strike up a conversation with this person?" She asked incredulously. " _How_? I don't even know if it's a guy or a girl! I'd guess from the background it's a girl, but the way they write sounds more like something a guy, not a girl. It  _is_  kind of unusual for guys to write, so I can see why their parent wouldn't want them to, though I don't think it matters…" she trailed off, thinking.

"Why don't you read one of their poems, and use that as a starting point," Gaara suggested softly. "They does ask for feedback on their work. After the two of you start talking, you could ask them their gender."

Sighing, Temari clicked on 'Journal'. The latest entry appeared on the screen. It was dated three days ago.

**Here is something I wrote at one o'clock this morning. It kept me from being destructive, which I guess is nice. Don't want to start the semester with that evident, though it would probably never be seen anyways. This one is called 'All That Is Left'. I decided to attempt to rhyme the lines of the paragraphs with each other, rather than rhyming within the paragraphs. Don't forget to let me know what you think of it.**

**All That Is Left**

**Spider-web of lines**

**Shattered pieces of glass-like panes**

**Prism facets of light**

**and broken reflections**

**of a tear-stained face**

**This is all that is left**

**of a broken mirror**

**Another friendship now declines**

**You look upon us with horror and distain**

**Always felt something wasn't quite right**

**No longer for any of us have any affections**

**and good memories of us erase**

**This is all that is left**

**of broken trust**

**New and fading designs**

**drawn on pale skin and darkened veins**

**Shedding something crimson bright**

**Punishing wrongs with painful corrections**

**Unseen patterns trace**

**This is all that is left**

**of broken flesh**

**Words no longer kept in darkened confines**

**Feelings now locked away behind doors and chains**

**We want to fade into the night**

**After all you saw only wrongs and imperfections**

**Feelings of love are replaced by pain, hate, and empty space**

**This is all that is left**

**of a broken heart**

**Because of a world which defines**

**always trying to decide what goes and what remains**

**You send yet another saddened soul into flight**

**Seeing inside nothing but imperfections**

**blackened by thoughts of falling from grace**

**This is all that is left**

**of broken strength**

**Hiding all of the signs**

**attempts at happiness seem to all be in vain**

**So we will fade into the night**

**after hearing no objections**

**Leaving the world without a goodbye embrace**

**This is all that is left**

**of a broken soul**

_END FLASHBACK_

And that was it had all started. She had become friends with the person who called themself Forgotten_Angel. She never had worked up the courage to ask Angel what their gender was; but since Angel addressed her as 'dear', 'cutie', and 'sweetie', she was willing to bet that it was a guy. She had found out so much about Angel, how he desperately wanted to rebel against what was expected of him, how he wanted to do what he wanted with his life, not what other wanted him to do; to step outside of what fate held for him. On these levels, they both related so well. But there was more. Temari had also found out that Angel, as the person asked to be called in place of his real name, suffered from severe depression, and self-injury problems. At the same time, Temari had opened herself up to Angel, more than she did even with Gaara. She had told Angel about how her mother forced her to model, even sending her to modeling school now; modeling was well enough, she supposed, but it wasn't something she wanted to do for the rest of her life; she'd rather design than model. But, to please her mother, she did it with a smile on her face. To please her mother, there was so much more she did to please that woman…

A screen popped up when she logged into the site, alerting her that Forgotten_Angel was actually online; a rare occurrence for them both to be online at the same time. Angel normally didn't get on until late at night. She clicked Angel's name, opening an instant message box.

**Blackened_Roses: Hey, Angel. How're you doing today?**

Forgotten_Angel: Hello, Rose, my dearest :) I'm alright, I guess. Got my ears pierced again, lol. How're you doing?

**Blackened_Roses: I'm ok as well. Moved into my dorm today**.

**Blackened_Roses: And congrats on the piercings! XD**

Forgotten_Angel: ooohhh, what's your roommate like? XD is she like you?

Forgotten_Angel: Thanks! :)

**Blackened_Roses: I haven't met her yet, but judging by her wardrobe, we're going to be polar opposites**.

Forgotten_Angel: *laughing so hard I can't breathe* LOL, you're a model, sweetie. Almost anyone's going to be a polar opposite from you!

**Blackened_Roses: LOL, very true…**

Forgotten_Angel: Any of your friends going to the same university as you?

**Blackened_Roses: I know at least two of them are; one, a girl, is going into cosmetology. The other is going into engineering. He's smart enough for it, though he is such a lazy bastard! LOL**

Forgotten_Angel: LOL, that's funny. Hopefully he'll show up for his classes on time!

Forgotten_Angel: A guy, huh? XD

**Blackened Roses: He'd better… or I'll kick his butt! And wipe that grin off of your face!**

Forgotten_Angel: LOL I bet you would! XDXD

Forgotten_Angel: *wiping grin away*

Forgotten_Angel: XDXDXD

**Blackened_Roses: What about you? Any of your friends going to be in the same university as you?**

Forgotten_Angel: yup! I'm hanging out with two of them right now; they're awesome!

**Blackened_Roses: aaahhh, do I hear a romance brewing? :D**

Forgotten_Angel: LOL, hardly. He acts like he's my younger brother, and the girl is like a sister to me, though we're not related. He's older than I am by two years, but he normally acts younger than I am.

**Blackened_Angel: *disappointed* so she's like your sister… and here I thought I finally had something I could tease you with… lol**

Forgotten_Angel: LOL, sorry, Rose. But if I ever get a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, you'll be the first to know, okay?

**Blackened_Roses: WTF? Either one?!**

Forgotten_Angel: …It says on my profile that I'm unsure of my orientation, Rose. Didn't you see that?

**Blackened_Roses: Yes I did, but I just can't believe it! I never would have expected something like that from you! Not the way you talk to me! I thought you were a guy, who is straight, the way you called me dear and sweetie and stuff!**

Then there was silence. Angel didn't respond for over a minute, and Temari felt bad for what she had written; she hadn't meant to sound like she was homophobic, or discriminated against gays, lesbians and bisexuals; she didn't. She had just been startled, and had reacted, and written without stopping to think. Hurriedly, before it was too late, she wrote:

**Blackened_Roses: Angel, I didn't mean for it to sound like that! You just startled me, that's all! I don't have a problem with you being gay or bi!**

But as soon as she hit enter to send the message, Forgotten_Angel logged out.

"Damn it!" Temari shouted. "Damn it, damn it…"

She wanted to slam her laptop shut, but stopped herself. Instead she went to Angel's profile and sent her a private message.

**Angel, I didn't mean to come across like that! I was just startled by what you said, and I had forgotten what your profile said. I have no problem with your orientation, whatever it is. It doesn't matter to me; you're my friend, and I just want you to be happy. I am so so sorry. Please, please forgive me, I'm begging you. Please, Angel, please forgive me. I am so sorry.**

**8~~~~~~ Blackened_Roses ~~~~~~8**

Sighing, Temari clicked send. "I'm such a moron," she muttered.

Deciding to wait and see if Angel would log back on later, Temari opened another window to her favorite search engine, and began looking for an image to change her background. She typed in a word without really realizing what she was typing, eyes glazed as she scrolled through the images that had popped up on her screen.

Temari was still scrolling though the images when she heard a key being shoved into the lock, and the tumblers fall into place. The door swung open.

Temari couldn't help it; she stared. She had been prepared for her roommate to be a girl who wore gothic clothing, but not…  _this_. The girl who had just entered was wearing black pants with chains running from the knees and up behind to attach to the belt loops, black shoes, a black long-sleeved shirt which laced up the sides with fine chains and had the words 'porcelain heart' scrawled diagonally across the front and dark gray wings starting on the chest bleeding over onto the shoulders. Under the sleeves were fingerless arm warmers, also black. Her hair, black with very fine highlights of silver and electric blue, was short in the back and longer in the front, especially around her temples, which reached her chin.

Each of her ears were pierced three times in the lobe and once in the cartilage; her right eyebrow was pierced, as was the left side of her nose; she also had snakebites, where her lower lip was pierced twice, near the corners.

The girl barely glanced at her as she walked in, dropping her backpack on her bed, and computer bag on her desk.

"My name is Sabaku Temari; I'm your roommate. What's your name?"

The girl didn't respond. Instead, she unzipped her backpack and pulled out a textbook and notebook, which had a pen holding a place. "H-Hyuuga Hinata." She looked up. "I d-don't really like people, so please just l-leave me alone."

Temari held up her hands mockingly. "Fine,  _be_  the snotty little bitch. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like you anyways."

Hinata's eyes narrowed. "J-just because I don't l-like most people, d-doesn't mean I'll lay down a-and take what th-they do and say. I've b-broken people's bones before, wh-when they pissed me off; so d-do yourself a f-favor and leave m-me alone."

Temari ignored the not-so-subtle hint. "Oh, I'm so  _scared,_ " she spat. "You only wear those clothes to  _look_  tough; but you aren't. You're just another fake, hiding behind a mask. Hiding from yourself."

"Hinata-chan, don't!" a black-haired boy stepped in front of Hinata when she took a step towards the blonde girl. Sai met her sparking eyes squarely. "No fighting, please, Hinata-chan. No more trouble, remember?"

The door hadn't locked when Hinata had entered, allowing Gaara and Sai to enter when they heard raised voices.

Temari looked over at her brother. "Don't you know to knock before you enter a girl's room?" she demanded.

Her brother shrugged slightly. "We heard raised voices. It was Sai who tried the door, and found it open." He glanced over at their roommates. Sai had pushed Hinata back to sit on her bed, still holding her wrists lightly. "He told me about her; she's taken on the role of his protector over the summer. The girl wasn't lying when she said she'd gotten into fights with people and won, Temari-onesan."

"She attacked Inukuza Kiba when he was teasing me about… something." Sai volunteered, turning to look over his shoulder at the Sabaku siblings. "She broke his nose."

"He d-deserved it," Hinata muttered. "he hurt you."

"Is there something wrong here?" said a male voice from the doorway; Sai flinched, hands coming up between him and the voice. The doorway framed the tall, thick-set body of the dorm-parent, Ibiki. Sai relaxed. "No, sir." The black-haired boy smiled. "We've got it under control, sir. Don't worry."

"It's almost curfew; you boys need to go back to your room." Then he walked on down the hall, yelling the same orders as doors slammed open and closed, feet running up and down the halls.

Sai stood up, eyes on Hinata. "Want to meet me for breakfast? And this time actually eat something?"

Hinata smiled slightly, shocking Temari. "S-sure. Usual place?"

"Yup!" Sai nodded. "But promise, no fighting, Hinata-chan."

When Hinata nodded, he skipped out of the room.

"Night, Temari." Gaara said. "And no baiting your roommate; I heard what you were saying."

Temari glared over at her roommate as she grabbed her night clothes. "Fine."

Gaara cocked his head at her. "What's bothering you?"

"Tomorrow, all right, brother?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Mild self-harm, parental abuse and transphobia
> 
> I can't believe it! this story liiiiives!!

Temari scowled at her reflection as she put the finishing touches on her make-up, her hair already in braid down her back. Her creepy roommate was already gone when her alarm had gone off at six, which was good she supposed, gave her free reign of the bathroom and mirror. But given she was such a light sleeper, it was a little worrying that her roommate was that stealthy. Maybe she should ask mother for a safe box… no. That would just upset her mother, and her mother freaking out was the last thing she needed any day of the week.

Behind her, her computer pinged once. Fancy eye make-up forgotten, Temari hurried over, hoping it was a message from Forgotten_Angel.

It was a private message from about two hours ago. Once again, Temari cursed her computer’s random wi-fi dropping tendencies, but it _was_ from Angel.

Forgotten_Angel:  Rose, I’m sorry. Sorry for how I reacted. It’s just… I’ve lost enough people for being… who I am. I thought if I ignored it, if I hid it, maybe everything would be ok. I didn’t want to lose another friend. But maybe I already have because of the hiding.

So, no more hiding.

Below is the truth. What you do with it, whether you accept it, and want to remain friends, or want nothing to do with me after that, it is up to you. Your friendship was and is amazing, and I thank you for the time we did have together. Remember, you are a strong, amazing woman, and I still stand by my words that you should follow your own dreams and paths, to be yourself. One of us should be able to.

Rose, I am Transgender. I when I was born, to put it in plain words, I had both male and female plumbing; I was intersex. My father, wanting a son as heir, made the decision when I was still too young to remember any of it.

But it was the wrong decision.

I always felt wrong, growing up. I never wanted to fight or roughhouse like the other boys. I always enjoyed drawing, coloring, and later, reading and writing. I’d rather be indoors reading a book than playing with the sons of father’s friends. I was jealous of my little sister’s pretty toys and clothes. I loved to play dressup with her. When I would try and tell father as much… it would never go well, let’s say.

Finally, when I was 14, I was sick in bed with severe stomach cramps. One of the household servants figured it out, and told me the truth. I did research; a lot of it after that. I couldn’t believe a lot of what I was reading, about being intersexed and transgender. But it fit. I was horrified, furious, afraid, confused…

 Then I confronted father. He didn’t deny it, at least the ‘corrective surgery’, but didn’t believe me when I said he had made the wrong choice, I was a girl, not a boy. I think that was the worst argument, and the worst beating I’ve ever gotten from him to date. He said he wanted a son to be heir to his company and the family, and threatened to kick me out on my own if I ever mentioned it again.

So I didn’t. I kept my mouth shut. I focused on getting good grades and a scholarship, saving money up in my own account for when I could get out on my own and maybe, just maybe, be myself.

I put on a smile as I broke inside. I didn’t want to eat. I started hurting myself just to feel something besides what I was keeping bottled up inside. I started to where more and more black and dark colors, but of course they were suits and slacks and dress shirts. Not all like what I wanted, but then I didn’t have a choice.

The same servant who told me the truth snuck me hormone replacements after talking to her psychologist brother. And as soon as I hit eighteen, I secretly started seeing a psychologist. With her help, I was able to legally change my name and gender identity, and I’m on hormone replacement medications that aren’t being snuck to me. My ID now says I’m a girl. My name is a girl’s name. I can dress and shop like a girl, I can use the woman’s restroom without getting weird looks, thanks to the medications and my naturally feminine form and features.

Now, in college, only one friend knows the truth, knows about my history. He was the only boy who would sit inside with me and read, or draw, or play games. I have a few other friends, but they think I’m a natural girl. They don’t know about my past, about the depression, the cutting, any of it.

My father has named someone else heir, I haven’t heard who. All I know is I am just about removed from the family as I can get without the media catching wind and ‘ruining the reputation of the family and business alike’ according to the letter my father sent me. If anyone asks, I’m to tell them I’m a second or third cousin to (insert my male name here). No one in the family will speak to me, and I’m not allowed to speak to them.

And as for my orientation… I’m not leaning one way or the other. Given my identity, gender doesn’t matter near as much as who a person is inside. But, at the same time, given again my identity, and also what is between my legs or lack thereof, finding someone accepting and able to look past all that and my past to see the real me is next to impossible.

Well, there you have it, Rose. The truth, as you wanted. I hope you can still see me for me, the person you have been friends and talked with for the past several months. If not, if now I am disgusting, an abomination, a thing… then I wish you the best of luck on whichever path you choose to follow.

~Forgotten_Angel~

Temari stared at her computer screen in shock and surprise. And stared, and stared. She didn’t know what to think of all the information she had just taken in. Angel being transgender was a shock, but not really an issue. Her cousin Rin was transgender (unknown to Temari’s own tight laced mother, of course), so that wasn’t really an issue. Neither was the undecided/open orientation, given all the point Angel had pointed out.

Sorting through everything, Temari realized the only thing which disgusted her was Angel’s father and her family.

A knock at the door snapped her back to the world. “Just a moment!” she called over her shoulder as she hurriedly typed out a short message to Angel.

**Angel, you are a beautiful soul and I am so happy and lucky to have you as a friend. I accept you and see you as you are; as you. The only thing disgusting is your family.**

**I’m so sorry I can’t write more, but I have to go to class now. Can we chat tonight?**

**Love and hugs,**

**8~~~~~~Blackened_Roses~~~~~~8**

Hitting send, Temari snapped her laptop closed and stuffed it into her waiting backpack.

Gaara was waiting outside the door for her, his own dark red backpack already slung over his shoulder. “Shall we go to breakfast, sister?”

Temari nodded. “Where’s Sai?” she asked as they started walking.

“He went to find your roommate, Hinata and drag her to breakfast. He says she doesn’t eat enough in his opinion.”

Temari wrinkled her nose at the thought of her roommate. “What are they, a couple?”

Her brother shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

OoOoO

The Hall, as the cafeteria was called, was set up with a smattering of tables and semi-comfortable cushioned chairs in the middle. Two corners were set up with tables with a wide variety of breakfast food, ranging from cereal and toast to made to order omelets, pancakes and steak. There was also a beverage table with coffee, juice, tea and milk.

Selecting a farmers omelet, a banana and a cup of coffee, she followed Gaara to a table where Sai and Hinata were already seated. Sai was wearing cargo pants and a navy sweatshirt proclaiming some back she’d never heard of. Hinata was of course, in black from head to toe, except for her cloth fingerless gloves, which were a dark crimson red.

“Temari!” She was surprised to see her friends Ino and Shikamaru searching for a table as well. She waved them over, ignoring the odd look Ino gave Hinata as the blonde cosmetology student plumped herself into a seat at Temari’s side, arranging her lavender skirt as she settled.

“Temari! You finally made it! What, did your mother wait until the last day to bring you both up here?” Ino laughed as she dumped milk onto what looked like plain cornflakes.

“Pretty much.” Temari replied with a snort. “You know her, hard time letting go.”

Shikamaru sat down on Temari’s other side slouching in his black hoodie, eyeing Gaara as he listened to Sai urge Hinata to eat more of the egg and toast sandwich he had brought her. “Who’re Gaara’s… friends?” he asked in a low voice.

“The guy is Sai, his roommate. Girl is Hyuuga Hinata, Sai’s friend and my roommate.”

Ino winced in sympathy. “Feel sorry for you, sweetie. Not the type of person I’d want to share a room with. Even Sakura – remember her? Pink hair, strange habits regarding boyfriends? – is preferable to that _thing_.” She nodded her head towards Hinata.

Conversation across the table from them flickered. Temari frowned. Ino had always been rather pointed with her words, but that was a cruel comment directed at Hinata, even for her standards. Before she could divert the conversation, Hinata started shoving the textbook she’d been reading into her backpack.

“S-see you later, Sai,” Hinata muttered as she stood up and left. Gaara sighed; he never had seen why Temari was friends with the blonde. Sai glared, completely out of character for his calm personality.

“Touchy,” Ino smirked as she sipped her latte.

“There’s no reason to be so mean to Hinata-chan!” Sai said indignantly.

Ino looked down her nose at the short boy. “If being honest is being mean, then that’s _her_ problem, not mine. She’s a childish stuttering emo-bitch _thing_.”

“Don’t call her a thing, Ino.” Temari said flatly. Her mind leapt back to the message Angel had sent her. The thought of a human calling another human a thing, especially for something as insignificant as who they were or how they dressed…

“What do you care, Temari? You look less than pleased at having to share a room with… her.” Ino retorted.

“Still. I don’t know her, she’s my polar opposite, nothing obviously in common. But she’s still a person, and we don’t know her story. We’re in Uni, we’re supposed to be growing up.”

Ino made a face. “What the hell happened to you, Temari? You used to be _fun._ ”

Temari chose not to answer.

OoOoO

Of all things, Temari wasn’t expecting… _this._

Her instructor for the class, Miss Anko Mitarashi had them all – eleven girls total – line up. She looked them over, asking questions about where they had purchased their clothing, why it went together, what they should add or take away to make it better.

Then, she nodded. “Alright. Next class is in two days. I want all of you to go to a second hand clothing store and put together three outfits. One for everyday, one semiformal, one formal. Each one cannot total more than fifty dollars. See you then!”

And that was it.

Shaking her head in confusion, Temari shoved her notebook. She was in modelling, not design, though she dearly wished she was. Perhaps she had gone to the wrong classroom?

“Hey, this _is_ a class for the modelling program, right?” Temari asked the raven haired girl nearest to her.

The girl nodded. “My older sister took this class. Miss Anko always does this. She also teaches two of the design classes. She likes to scout out potentials for that too. Not many meet with her approval. You saw how she frowned at most of us.”

Temari smiled faintly. “Gotcha. Thanks.”

OoOoO

Hinata was sitting on her bed when Temari came back before her Literature 101 class. She was drawing, pad on her knees which were drawn up, back against the wall. Her hands were bare, the fingerless gloves folded neatly next to her. Headphones in place, the music must’ve been soft enough she heard the door open. Her eyes flickered up to meet Temari’s before hurriedly looking back down.

Temari wanted to apologize for Ino, but didn’t feel Hinata would believe her, given their argument yesterday. Then she saw the same Lit book she was tucking into her bag on Hinata’s desk. “You have Lit 101 today?” she asked in spite of her vow of silence.

Slowly, Hinata removed her headphones, letting them rest around her neck. “Y-yes.”

“D’you mind if I walk down with you? I know it’s off in some small building on campus, I just can’t figure out where.” Mildly true. Shikamaru had pointed the path to it out that morning, but the path ran around one of the larger ones where a lot of the law classes were held, which is what he was studying.

“If you w-want to, th-that’s fine.” Hinata replied as she closed her sketch pad. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she tugged her boots on, zipped them up and did up the three buckles over the zipper. In doing so, the sleeve of her left arm rode up. An angry red line went from above her wrist up the inside of her arm to disappear under the sleeve.

“What happened?” Temari asked despite herself.

Hinata glanced down. Then she tugged her sleeve down to hide the mark. “C-cooking with a f-friend. They t-tripped, and I tried t-to save the c-cookies.” She smiled slightly before letting it fade. “R-ready?”

OoOoO

Finding the Lit classroom was harder than Temari had expected, and was grateful she had asked Hinata for help.There were maybe three other classrooms in the building and then offices in the rest of the tiny building.

The classroom was set up with long tables with three seats at each in rows of two from front to back. Up near the front Ino was sitting with a pink haired girl Temari remembered as being Sakura from their high school graduating class, though she’d been more friends with Ino than Temari. Ino, who had kept glancing over their shoulders at the door saw her come in and called, “Temari! C’mon, saved ya a seat!”

Temari smiled to show she’d heard hear friend before turning to Hinata. “Thanks for showing be the way, I’d have gotten so lost!”

Hinata nodded as she sat in a seat at an empty table in the back. “N-no problem.”

As Temari walked over, she heard Sakura whisper, “So _that’s_ her? You’re right she does look creepy!”

“I know right?! Watch it here’s Temari.”

Temari sighed but chose to ignore what she had overheard. Ino had always loved her gossip, as had Sakura, despite the pink haired girl had and still was a good portion of what was discussed, what with her two boyfriends who shared her and each other. So not her thing, Temari reflected as she grabbed a syllabus as they were handed out. Turning to hand it to the guy sitting behind her, a flash of red caught her eye; Gaara was standing next to Hinata, then taking a seat with her.

She smiled.

OoOoO

“Excuse me… are you saving this for anyone?” A male voice asked roughly.

Looking up, she recognized her roommate’s brother, Gaara. She shook her head. “N-no.”

He slid into the seat next to her, careful to maintain space between them. Hinata wasn’t offended; quite the opposite, she was used to it and expected it from everyone except Sai, who with most people disregarded personal space completely.

_He probably just doesn’t want to sit closer to the front_ , she told herself _, just like you. Maybe you should move over so he has more space away from you._

When she started sliding her book and notepad over, the redhead cocked his head at her. “What are you doing?”

Hinata froze. “I-I’m giving you some m-more r-room, sorry.”

“Do I make you that uncomfortable?” he asked, his voice tinged with something she couldn’t name.

She shook her head. “No. I th-thought, maybe, I…”

He turned his attention to the papers being handed to him. “You can move if you want, but don’t do it for me. I don’t mind if you stay where you are.”

Hinata started at him, before realizing she was being rude. “You… d-don’t mind?”

“No.” He handed her a copy of the syllabus before getting up to return the leftovers to the front of the room.

After a brief moment of indecision, Hinata stayed where she was. _He’ll wake up soon enough,_ her brain told her firmly. _They all do, just like-_ the voice cut off as she clamped a hand over her healing burn, pain rushing up her arm and down into her fingers, causing her to wince; it wasn’t as healed as she had thought.

“Are you ok?” Gaara had returned.

She nodded. “Y-yes. Sorry. I b-bumped a burn from l-last week.” She gave him a small smile; with that past couple of months, it almost felt alien on her face. “its t-taking its time in h-healing.”

Gaara nodded as he sat back down, though he still looked concerned.

OoOoO

Temari sighed with relief as she packed up her bag. Their Lit teacher, Mr. Kakashi, was all over the place in his teaching, but he could also drone on and on on a subject, and nearly put her to sleep twice. Their first assignment had been to write a book report on their favorite childhood book, comparing with why the liked it then with why they did – or did not – like it now. Temari, having never been much of a bookworm as a child, was not looking forward to it.

Ino and Sakura had to rush off to their final class of the day with a hurried goodbye and plans to meet up in the Hall for dinner, leaving her to take her time. Turning towards the exit, she was surprised to find Gaara and Hinata comparing notes on rough drafts of the assignments already, having decided to get working on it while Mr. Kakashi talked about his favorite romance novel series.

She could still hear Hinata’s stutter, but the fact Gaara was actively talking to someone he had just met… she was beyond shocked as she joined them leaving the building.

“I-it was the f-first real chapter b-book I read, a-and is still one I en-enjoy reading,” Hinata was saying as they walked outside. Then she stopped dead, and Temari almost ran into her.

An adult man with hair and eyes similar to Hinata was standing, arms folded and foot tapping impatiently as he eyed the students exiting the building. When he caught sight of Hinata. “Come with me, Hyuuga-kun, Master Hyuuga wishes to speak with you. He is waiting inside.”

Hinata nodded as she followed him back inside, shoulders hunched.

“She’s afraid.” Gaara observed, his voice hard.

Surprised to hear that much emotion from her usually immovable brother, she glanced over at him. He noticed. “She’s nice, and she’s hurting. And now she’s afraid.”

Temari nodded, not knowing what else to say.

OoOoO

“So what Hanabi-san saw while visiting Neji-kun was true. You truly are a disgrace and failure to our family.” Her father, Hyuuga Hiashi, scowled down at his disappointment of a child. “Piercings, horrid clothing, make-up…have you had your fun rebelling against your family? Will you come home and stop this ridiculous game?”

Hinata locked her hands behind her so her father couldn’t see them twisting; yet another failure. She shook her head. “It isn’t a g-game, Father. Th-this is who I am, a-and I’m not g-going to change j-just because you d-don’t accept th-that you have t-two daughters instead of a d-daughter and s-son.”

Hiashi scowled down at her. “Still stuttering like a child. You do realize this is your last chance to come back, don’t you? You will be removed from our family in every way possible but name, and Neji-kun will be named heir to Hyuuga Technologies?”

Hinata nodded. “F-fine with me. H-he can h-have it all, including th-the internal p-politics of our m-messed up so called f-family!”

_Slap!_

Hiasha was shaking in rage. “You will not talk like that to me, _Kazune_ , I am still your father.”

Hinata was shaking. She wanted to run, run and never look back. Hide somewhere where could cry and bleed in peace. But no, not yet. She straightened, ignoring her split lip and throbbing cheek. “K-kazune is dead, F-father. You k-killed him a l-long t-time ago. And y-you stopped b-being my father th-the moment you hated H-Hinata.” She straightened. “I a-accept I am no l-longer a m-member of the H-hyuugas. I-is that all, Mr. H-Hyuuga?”

“No,” Hiashi hissed. “I understand you are roommates with Sabaku Temari, and her brother are attending Konoha University as well this year?”

Hinata nodded.

“Their father is the head of Suna Corps.” Hiasha informed her. “We have many delicate business plans in the works with them. If you tell the children who you are, they will in turn tell their father and it will destroy the plans Hyuuga Technologies is working on, and you will be blamed for it. Those who receive blame from us do not tend to do very well in life. Remember that, Kazune.”

Without waiting for an answer, Hiasha stormed out, followed by his assistants.

Only once the door swung shut and she was alone did Hinata allow herself to cry. 


End file.
